The Pig’s Tale by Louis Carroll
Little Birds are dining
Warily and well,
Hid in mossy cell:
Hid, I say, by waiters
Gorgeous in their gaiters —
I’ve a Tale to tell.
Little Birds are feeding
Justices with jam,
Rich in frizzled ham:
Rich, I say, in oysters
Haunting shady cloisters —
That is what I am.
Little Birds are teaching
Tigresses to smile,
Innocent of guile:
Smile, I say, not smirkle —
Mouth a semicircle,
That’s the proper style.
Little Birds are sleeping
All among the pins,
Where the loser wins:
Where, I say, he sneezes
When and how he pleases —
So the Tale begins.
There was a Pig that sat alone
Beside a ruined Pump:
By day and night he made his moan —
It would have stirred a heart of stone
To see him wring his hoofs and groan,
Because he could not jump.
A certain Camel heard him shout —
A Camel with a hump.
“Oh, is it Grief, or is it Gout?
What is this bellowing about?”
That Pig replied, with quivering snout,
“Because I cannot jump!”
That Camel scanned him, dreamy-eyed.
“Methinks you are too plump.
I never knew a Pig so wide —
That wobbled so from side to side —
Who could, however much he tried,
Do such a thing as jump!
“Yet mark those trees, two miles away,
All clustered in a clump:
If you could trot there twice a day,
Nor ever pause for rest or play,
In the far future — Who can say? —
You may be fit to jump.”
That Camel passed, and left him there,
Beside the ruined Pump.
Oh, horrid was that Pig’s despair!
His shrieks of anguish filled the air.
He wrung his hoofs, he rent his hair,
Because he could not jump.
There was a Frog that wandered by —
A sleek and shining lump:
Inspected him with fishy eye,
And said “O Pig, what makes you cry?”
And bitter was that Pig’s reply,
“Because I cannot jump!”
That Frog he grinned a grin of glee,
And hit his chest a thump.
“O Pig,” he said, “be ruled by me,
And you shall see what you shall see.
This minute, for a trifling fee,
I’ll teach you how to jump!
“You may be faint from many a fall,
And bruised by many a bump:
But, if you persevere through all,
And practise first on something small,
Concluding with a ten-foot wall,
You’ll find that you can jump!”
That Pig looked up with joyful start:
“Oh Frog, you are a trump!
Your words have healed my inward smart —
Come, name your fee and do your part:
Bring comfort to a broken heart,
By teaching me to jump!”
“My fee shall be a mutton-chop,
My goal this ruined Pump.
Observe with what an airy flop
I plant myself upon the top!
Now bend your knees and take a hop,
For that’s the way to jump!”
Uprose that Pig, and rushed, full whack,
Against the ruined Pump:
Rolled over like an empty sack,
And settled down upon his back,
While all his bones at once went “Crack!”
It was a fatal jump.
Sylvie and Bruno Concluded, (1893).
Ch 23, ‘Bruno’s Lessons’.
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